A poem by Emily Dickinson


WE never know how high we are
Till we are called to rise;
And then, if we are true to plan,
Our statures touch the skies.

The heroism we recite
Would be a daily thing,
Did not ourselves the cubits warp
For fear to be a king.

A beautiful reminder from Dickinson, a female voice who realized longtime ago that we are sacred souls full of potentials, and the tough experiences we pass through life is just a reminder for that, a call to rise because heroes and kings whom we exaggerate in measuring them are not much different than us. God created us as His image because we are able to reach perfection.

\لا نعرف أبدا مدى علونا \ إلى أن نُدعى للارتفاع؛ فإن كنا وفيين للمخطط، \ تلامس قاماتنا السماء\ البطولة التي نرويها

كانت ستكون تكون شيئا يوميا، \ لو لم نقم أنفسنا بالقياس بالذراع \ خوفا من أن نكون الملك

أحببت أن أشارك القراء بهذه القصيدة لإيميلي ديكنسون لأنها تذكرة لنا عن حقيقتنا: تذكرة بأن تجارب الحياة تأتي لتكشف لنا قدراتنا؛ فنحن نملك كل الإمكانيات للارتفاع كي نلامس السماء وهو ما كان مخططا لنا، وما يعيقنا هو خوفنا من أن ننضج ونكبر. كانت ستكرر الملاحم البطولة بشكل يومي، لو لم نبالغ في تقدير حجم الأبطال والملوك (حيث نقيسهم بالذراع) ناسيين أنهم أناس مثلنا. عندما قال الله أنه خلقنا على صورته كانت دعوة منه لكي نسعى لبلوغ الكمال وليس للخوف منه وتحجيم أنفسنا

Waiting for what?…

When I look at the all “waiting for something” in our life I feel that life slips besides us while this endless “waitings”: waiting to graduate from school, from university, waiting for a job, for the children born, for their first steps and then to go to school. Waiting to reach a destination, waiting to see someone, waiting, waiting, waiting… in every fraction of second and we miss living the moment. We miss enjoying our youth; we miss enjoying our children growing up; we miss preparing food with love as we wait to finish the work. We miss being creative at our jobs as we wait to go home, we miss many things in life; we miss living.

If we are not projecting ourselves forward waiting for the future, we go backward ruminating on the past. We beat ourselves for what we call mistakes; we judge the others and we curse the circumstances. And again we miss the present.

Lots of people get exhausted because of this senseless to and fro movements in time. It is okay to look at the past and learn from its lessons and it is only “lessons” however it was “good” or “bad” so no need to get stuck there thinking about it all the time: why you acted in this way; why you didn’t answer differently; why you failed this class, and why they rejected you at that job … etc. When you have faith in God’s wisdom, you will be certain that “it is always as perfect as it is,” a dear friend always repeated this sentence.

Open yourself for tomorrow without limiting it by your needs. Project your wishes in the abundant space that fills your inner being uniting it with the vast space that envelops us. Do your part and leave the rest to God or to the universe. But don’t forget to stay in the moment, to live the present sweet or bitter it is. Life offers us infinite possibilities, and to capture what is good for us, we need to be fully present in each moment.

Why I write?

I was 12 years old when I wrote an essay that blew my teacher’s mind. We were asked to write about the Arab poetry in Spain, which used to be called Andalusia during the time Spain was under the Arabic rule. I imagined myself there and so I was. My feelings were so vivid that I could hear the ripple of the flowing springs, the birds chirping and the music flying in the air. I could smell the sea, the flowers and the perfumes. I could see the landscapes in the back of my mind. Up till now I can relive those feelings that made me sob for days with nostalgia for that far and imaginary homeland. At that time I knew that I was capable of writing amazing things as long as I could connect to some mysterious place inside me, because there were times when I couldn’t write one sentence. I kept writing when something moved me.

A few years later my maternal grand mother died. I was so attached to her. I knew about her tough life and I started hearing more about all what she went through after her death. I wanted to write her story, but I was just 15 and soon I forgot about it.

During my marriage, I suffered while observing my life. After I got separated I started observing other women’s life in marriage, I started to see how much a woman contributes to her suffering because she ignores her rights and capacities. Then I recalled the idea about writing my grandmother’s life story, but I thought it would be best writing about my grandmother and the Middle Eastern women in marriage through my life story.

After few years of trying, I have written pieces scattered between two laptops, notebooks and scraps of papers. But I am still determined to write my memoire hopping it would be a wake up call for women in the Middle East.

It is time to share

Thoughts & Words

Almost six months ago I started my blog. I felt I have a lot to share. But when the blog took place I lost all the ideas and thoughts I always wanted to share.

To share part of myself I had to be free, to be free of other human being authority, to belong to my own self, to belong to the universe. I wasn’t at that time. I am now.

I will be sharing my thoughts and writings through this blog, and I will look to read your comments.

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“We supposed to have a session at 9 am today on Skype, but you were not there!” I was shocked as I received this message on WhatsApp, I though our meeting wasn’t till tomorrow. I rechecked my agenda, yes it is written tomorrow, but something inside me tells me it was today. I write a first message explaining what I thought, a second one apologizing, a third one asking for another appointment. I am in a total mess, my body is over heated, my heart is racing and my mind is blocked with fears: what if he is angry with me. After all, his time is very valuable, people reserve a session weeks in advance. What if he thinks I am careless and decides to stop the sessions. “But he is a spiritual person full of compassion, he is not my x.”

Fear… the moment I recognized my fear I felt stupid. I calmed myself thinking that was in the past, I am not afraid anymore of someone being upset at me. But that’s not true, the past needs some time to be processed and driven out of my system. I was hard on myself when I judged my fear. Yes there was no reason for it at that moment but my fear is still legitimate as long I am not totally healed.

As soon I recognized and acknowledged my fear, I was able to see how much is rooted this feeling in my subconscious. The fear of being punished and banished; the swirl it used to send me in, and still does. Everytime I arm my efforts trying to justify my action, to convince the other person that I am innocent, I plead guilty, slay myself on the cross and beg for pardon.

Whatever is the mistake we commit (if there is a mistake), we never deserve to be slayed or tortured, by ourselves or anyone else. Apologize from the heart if it needed. Do your part and let the other does his part. Be responsible for your actions and remember there are never wrong or right, it is all perfect as it is. Whatever occurs is for the best. A mistake might be simply to shed light on certain aspects of your life: you wouldn’t see your lack of organization if you don’t miss an important meeting, so next time be more organized.

The important thing in any situation of fear is to go back to it. Reflect on it and eliminate the judgment. Separate the situation from your emotional state of being: if you are in problem, deal with it without involving your lifelong fears. Deal with it logically and if your fears submerge, respect them but don’t let them blind you.

It is time to share

Almost six months ago I started my blog. I felt I have a lot to share. But when the blog took place I lost all the ideas and thoughts I always wanted to share.

To share part of myself I had to be free, to be free of other human being authority, to belong to my own self, to belong to the universe. I wasn’t at that time. I am now.

I will be sharing my thoughts and writings through this blog, and I will look to read your comments.

look inside first…

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAOn ne peut rien trouver extérieurement que l’on n’ait pas déjà intérieurement, car même ce que vous rencontrez extérieurement, si vous ne l’avez pas déjà trouveé intérieurement, vous passerez devant sans le voir. Plus vous découvrez la beauté intérieurement, plus vous la découvrez extérieurement dans le plan physique. Peut-etre pensez-vous que si vous ne l’avez pas vue avant c’est qu’elle n’était pas là… Si, elle était là, mais elle restait invisible parce qu’au-dedans de vous quelque chose n’était pas encore éveillé, développé. Mais maintenant que vous l’avez vue intérieurement, vous la voyez extérieurement aussi, parce que le monde extérieur n’est fait que des reflets du monde intérieur. Ne cherchez jamais rien extérieurement si vous n’avez pas d’abord fait l’effort de le trouver intérieurement. 

We cannot find anything outside that we do not already have it internally, because even what you meet outside, if you have not already found it internally, you will pass without seeing it. The more you discover the beauty within, the more you discover it externally in the physical plane. Maybe you think that if you have not seen it before it is because it was not there… it was there, but it was invisible because within you something was not yet awake and developed. However, as you have seen it inside now, you see it externally too, because the outside world is the reflection of the inner world. Never seek anything outside if you do not first make the effort to find it internally.

لن نستطيع إيجاد أي شيء خارجيا إن لم نكن قد وجدناه مُسبقا داخلياً، فحتى ذاك الذي تلتقي به خارجيا ستمرّ أمامه من دون أن تراه ما لم تكن قد وجدته بعد داخلياً. وكلما اكتشفت الجمال داخليا كلما اكتشفته خارجياً في العالم المادي. ربما تظنّ بأنك إن لم تره من قبل فذلك لأنه لم يكن موجوداً… بل قد كان موجودا ولكنه بقي غير مرئي لأن شيئا ما فيك لم يكن قد استيقظ وتطوّر. وبما أنك قد رأيته الآن داخليا، فأنت تراه خارجيا أيضاً، فالعالم الخارجي مُؤلف فقط ممّا ينعكس عليه من العالم الداخلي. إذاً لا تبحث أبداً عن . شيء في الخارج ما دمت لم تبذل جهدك أولا لتجده داخلي