We come to this world to fulfill our missions. There are people who come to help humanity, others to paint, sing, heal, etc. And there those who come to deal with unsolved issues like patience, love, anger, pride, etc., … Our missions vary from a larger plan– e.g. serving humanity– to a smaller one– e.g. a person who comes to works on his anger. But all missions are as noble and challenging, no matter its size or content or aim.
As we grow up and become “conscious”, we fall in a matrix or a frame. The frame disconnects us from our deep senses and original missions. We consider gaining money; marriage; children or falling in love; etc. are what we came to do on earth. Yes they are necessary to our development. They are our duties, but they are not our main purpose in life. The subjects we take in the university leads us towards a diploma, they are important, but our last aim is the diploma not the subjects. Also in life we should never forget the bigger plan, the mission. If we don’t know the mission we came to fulfill, then it is good to pose the question and look for its answer. It will come one day. But don’t get stuck in the corners of daily lives.
During my marriage, I observed my life in its ups and downs, and its effects on me. I don’t say I didn’t suffer, no, many times I hit rock bottom. But I always managed to analyze myself and analyze what I was going through. I questioned the reasons of this tough time. Problems always surged regardless my efforts to mend things between my husband and me. My questioning led me to trust the higher will. I believe God is merciful, but I don’t believe in punishment. There are consequences for our actions, but that doesn’t characterize the actions as wrong or right; it is always as perfect as it is. Sometimes the “mistakes” we commit, shed light on new aspects, on new perspectives, on others or even on ourselves.
The troubles in my marriage provoked my search for myself; they cornered me and I needed an escapee. I took refuge in books, which helped me regain my lost personality. Books opened the door to my inner self, but I still had to take the first step to start my path. “Man master of his destiny” by Omraam Michael Aivanhove was a turning point in the way I regarded my life. I translated it because I wanted my family to read the book. That step cracked my shell. The editors contacted me and asked me to translate more books for them. Through translation I found part of myself, part of my potentials. It gave me an identity. Fear has suppressed my true identity so I needed an exterior one. Later, I realized that the ground is present below my feet. I remembered my existence.
After sometime, the pressure and instability in my life awakened my love to write– a hobby from childhood– I wrote and wrote. But as soon I closed my laptop, I hated it. I took a few online writing courses, which unleashed my true potential and maybe my true mission in life. I was certain that writing is my mission in life but still I didn’t dedicate full-time to it.
Divorce shocked me regardless the sufferings I lived during the 26 years of marriage. What bothered me most was doing the divorce in a disrespectful way. When a man loves a woman, he asks for her hand with respect. And when he decides on divorce, he should give her hand back in the same respectful way. Divorce should be an agreement between both sides as marriage. My divorce wasn’t.
But may there was a cosmic need for the dismantling of my illusionary kingdom. It was the only way for me to stand up and fly, to reborn after death. After a few weeks of recovery, I initiated my Blog, I became a full writer, and I am more committed now. I’d wake up with a tingling sensation pushing me to sit in front of my laptop and to write. I don’t tell myself I “should” write, but I “want” to write, this is who I am now.
I don’t say that every one has to go through destruction to find his/her potential or mission in life. No, this is how it was planned for me, but not everyone has to go through same experiences.
Sufferings help us to go back to ourselves. If we are conscious and vigilant, suffering can lead us to our inner path. But there are people who surrender to the fact of being victims, and this is how they get stuck in deep holes of darkness. As long they are content with nagging and complaining, they can’t see the bigger plan. Not only they fight and argue with people around them but also they fight with God.
If we search for the meaning of our suffering, we find solutions, we change our conditions, and we take hold of our lives. Sometimes in wartime, solutions are not concrete and visible. But if we learn how to rise above and zoom out, we’ll be surprised to find an infinite number of doors and openings, it is an infinite vast world, and we have infinite capacities and potentials.
I always knew about my mission, but it was just an idea. Now I see the idea materializing and taking shape inside my soul. My mission and I became one. Search for your mission because it will give you a new impulse in your life.